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Lasting Marriage

Continuing Courtship Leads to Lasting Marriage

 

Young lovers don't need convincing to spend time together. But one look at married folks and you'll see that couple time shrinks after the walk down the aisle. Then kids come on board and suddenly, they get all their parents attention. Consider this concept. You can still put your spouse first even after the kids come along.

 

I'm not talking about those early days of parenting when no one but Junior is getting any sleep, and Momma and Daddy are tiptoeing their way around a bedroom cluttered with emotional land mines. No point in planning "alone time" with your honey during postpartum, Dad. When the baby blues hit, you best watch your back.

 

But that's a different subject for a different article. Right now, we're talking about carving “couple time” into the family schedule. Repeat after me: EVERY COUPLE NEEDS “COUPLE TIME”. A weekly date night without kids is a must.

 

How else can you remember why you got married in the first place? Couples get buried beneath baby food and blankies. It might take some effort, but try to think back. Remember when you were girlfriend and boyfriend? Remember courtship?

 

Maybe this walk down memory lane will help.  He called early on Monday and asked you out for Saturday night: dinner at El Patio where that Mariachi band played “La Cucaru” or maybe a concert in Hermann Park. You talked and laughed and fell deeper in love with every outing. That's how it went, right?

 

But then, you got married, the kids came along, and what happened?  Mom started over-mothering and Dad resigned himself to be content with the leftovers. Does dad even realize that he could still be her boyfriend? In the midst of the humdrum, is it possible to keep your sweetheart status?

 

It is. I know since my mother did it. She was our father's girlfriend even when she was up to her ears in small children.  Every afternoon at 5 o’clock she showered, put on lipstick and a pretty dress in anticipation of Daddy's return from work.  Having a houseful of 14 children was no excuse for letting herself go.

 

When he came in that backdoor at 6pm, she poured him a cold Lone Star and they sat down at the kitchen table to chat about the day. She let him know, every day, that he was her number one priority. There was time for the rest of us AFTER he got what he needed.

 

I honestly don't how she pulled it off. I guess the infant went into a baby seat, and she must have conditioned the rest of us to entertain ourselves while they got caught up on the day’s happening. I don't know if she learned this stroke of genius from her own mother or some type of divine intervention. The point is, it was the right thing to do and she did it. If she can do it with fourteen kids, what's my excuse?

 

If spending time together is how you fall in love, wouldn't spending time together also be the way you stay in love? Or better yet, the way you fall deeper in love? Continuing the courtship might just be the secret to a long and loving marriage. Anyway, it's worth a try.

 

By Donia Caspersen Crouch, Author of “Texas Twosomes Married for Life”

Videos

Single Leg Deadlifts with Ab Crunches

Single Leg Deadlifts with Superman Reach

Couples Squats

Resistance Punches

Chest Flies and Hip Extensions

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